Uncertain Things.

*Oh god* *Oh god* *Oh god*

Did I just see him? No, may be I have mistaken. May be I was thinking so much about him the whole day that I’m seeing him everywhere. May be I’m stuck in a daydream. But how is this possible, same color complexion, same hairstyle, even the body language is similar.

Maybe I am day dreaming.

Its been 3 years that you are gone. Its been 3 long years since we separated, and I still remember every thing details of yours. All your stories, scars, likes and dislikes. It is so ironic even after knowing each other’s secrets we aren’t together , because we have become the most familiar strangers ever.

He is walking towards me. I can feel the chills down my spin. No it can’t be him. No.

I am cold, my mind is thinking of all the possibilities. How did I spot him in such a crowded place? How will I greet him? Has he noticed me? Does he even remembers me? Should I approach him, just a low Hi? A  formal handshake? Or a tight hug, the way it used to be 3 years back?

No. No. No. So I took  off my specs and rub it with the tissue which I had kept in my pocket of the blue jeans.

Wearing the specs back, trying to have a clear view.

Oh ! I guess I lost him into the crowd. Surely my mind was daydreaming. *Lets Leave* my mind says, I was about to turn. And someone tapped on my shoulder. It was him ! Yes it was him.  But wait. What is she doing besides him? My mind started overthinking again. Why? What is she doing with him? Why are they together? Haven’t I told him not to talk to her?

I am all panicked still trying to maintain my calmness and not letting my nervousness reflect. I try to smile, but seeing him after such a long gap makes me want to hug him so badly, but no; maybe I shouldn’t. So I just wave an awkward hello. And this is my girlfriend, was the introduction that he gave of the girl standing besides him.

What??? What did he say? Girlfriend? Really??How?? Since when?? So he forgot me?? He moved on??

I couldn’t believe my ears. I felt as if I got paralyzed there itself. Something broke inside me. I suddenly lost my words. I felt as if someone just pushed me from a cliff.  Suddenly I wanted to disappear somewhere. I wanted to run away, but I can’t because I had to act as if it didn’t affect me,as if I was okay with it. I try to maintain that awkward smile and try to stretch my lips into a curve. Sometimes smiling is so hard. All I said was Wow, Congratulate them, which was very difficult for me. Sharing happiness gets hard sometimes.

They say people come and they say people go, may it was time for me to let go. I didn’t lived for this feeling. I can’t but I should let him go. I stare deep into his eyes, trying to find those galaxies which I missed for three long years, which I saw three years back, I wanted to freeze the time. Because that was the last time I was seeing him. All I said was, I am going to miss you, I know. Take care.

And I left, becoming the part of the crowd.












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